When a hit show like HBO’s Mortician turns the spotlight on end-of-life decisions, it sparks conversations most of us avoid. But while the series captures the emotional weight of loss and legacy, it also reinforces some common myths about funeral planning. The truth? Funeral planning is more than choosing a casket or arranging flowers—it’s about reducing stress for loved ones, ensuring your wishes are honored, and incorporating those preferences into your broader estate planning and funeral instructions.
This blog is for New York families, professionals, and anyone wondering what real-world funeral planning looks like compared to what they see on screen. By the end, you’ll understand what the HBO series gets right, what it misses, and how to make sure your own plan leaves nothing to chance.
What Does Funeral Pre-Planning Actually Involve?
One thing the series gets right is showing how overwhelming last-minute decisions can be for grieving families. However, it oversimplifies the process. True funeral pre-planning is a thoughtful and detailed process that often includes:
- Documenting burial or cremation preferences, including religious or cultural considerations.
- Choosing a funeral home, memorial type, or even personal touches like music or readings.
- Planning the financial side by prepaying or setting aside funds to lock in today’s prices and avoid inflation.
- Sharing these wishes with family members to reduce the chance of disputes or misunderstandings.
People often think funeral planning is separate from estate planning. In reality, the two should go hand-in-hand. If you’re already creating a will or trust, it’s a natural moment to document funeral preferences as well.
What Documents Are Crucial for Funeral Preferences?
The show glosses over one of the most important aspects of planning: documentation. Without clear, legal instructions, even the most well-meaning family members can disagree about what should happen. To avoid this, consider preparing:
- A Funeral Directive or Letter of Instruction – This outlines specific wishes for your burial, cremation, memorial service, or any unique requests.
- Your Will or Trust – If your funeral plan is being funded through your estate, this document ensures that funds are allocated correctly.
- A Health Care Proxy or Advance Directive – While often associated with medical care, these documents can reference end-of-life preferences that influence funeral arrangements.
At The Village Law Firm, we often find that clients have strong feelings about how they want to be remembered but no legal documents to back those wishes. When that happens, decisions can fall to default state laws or next-of-kin, creating unnecessary stress.
Why Are Funeral Instructions Overlooked in Estate Plans?
The HBO Mortician series portrays estate planning as a luxury for the wealthy, which isn’t true. Many people believe that wills and trusts are only about money or guardianship, ignoring the emotional and logistical challenges of death.
Common reasons funeral instructions are missed include:
- Focus on financial assets only. People prioritize who gets what but overlook “how” they want their life celebrated.
- Misunderstanding of legal processes. Without a will, New York law decides how assets—and sometimes even funeral decisions—are handled.
- Assumption that family members will “just know.” Grief often clouds judgment, and conflicts can arise when nothing is documented.
In our work, we encourage clients to create a complete plan—one that addresses both financial and personal decisions. For example, pairing a funeral directive with your estate plan ensures that the executor or trustee can take swift action without unnecessary confusion.
What Can You Learn from the HBO “Mortician” Series?
While dramatized, the show highlights real concerns: the emotional burden families face, the potential for disagreements, and the importance of early preparation. Where it falls short is failing to show how proactive planning—especially integrating funeral preferences into estate planning—can eliminate these issues altogether.
If you’re unsure where to begin, start by reviewing existing documents like your will, trust, or healthcare proxy. Are your funeral wishes included? If not, it may be time to create a standalone directive. For more insights on how to build a well-rounded plan, our blog on Five Tips for Choosing Your Child’s Guardian offers a helpful look at making difficult but crucial family decisions.
FAQs About Estate Planning and Funeral Instructions
1. Do I need both a will and a funeral directive?
Yes. A will handles asset distribution, while a funeral directive ensures your end-of-life wishes are followed. Relying on one alone can lead to delays or disputes.
2. Can funeral plans be updated later?
Absolutely. As your life circumstances or preferences change, you can update your funeral directive, will, or trust to reflect your current wishes.
3. What happens if I don’t leave funeral instructions?
In New York, your closest relatives will make decisions on your behalf. Without guidance, this can cause family conflict or choices that don’t align with your values.
Ready to take control of your future?
At The Village Law Firm, we help families integrate funeral preferences into a complete estate plan that protects loved ones and avoids confusion. Contact us today to schedule an introductory call and create a plan that truly reflects your wishes.
